Why kids misbehave

Summertime is depicted as a laid-back joyful season, when in fact for many, it is the opposite. Summertime for families of small children means added expenses of childcare or having to pay for additional meals that normally were less expensive due to school meal plans.

Summertime generally means an interruption in routine. Children may be up later and therefore not getting enough sleep and possibly skipping meals or not eating as well due to busier schedules. Having a basic understanding of what triggers children to misbehave will help keep homes happy and safe. People will not have as much tolerance and be more irritable when they are hungry, angry or not feeling well.

If you or your children are experiencing any of these emotions or feelings halt what you are doing and tend to that need before moving on. Another reason why children misbehave is that they may not fully understand the request.

For an example, if you ask the child to calm down they may not understand that you mean and how to actually calm themselves. This is also an example of a lack of experience. Instead of misbehaving to express their emotions, a child may learn to take a time-out to calm down.

When a child feels hungry, tired, or ill, misbehavior often ensues. As a result, they often use their behavior to show that they have unmet needs. Parents can help prevent behavior problems by looking for unmet needs. For example, take a toddler shopping after they have had a nap and when you have snacks on hand. Ask your child how they're feeling and look for cues that they may have some unmet needs. A need for power and control often contribute to misbehavior. Sometimes defiant and argumentative behavior results when a child attempts to assert control.

One way to avoid this is to offer a child two choices. One of the simplest reasons children misbehave is because it is effective. For example, a child who whines until their parents give in will learn that whining is a great way to get whatever they want. Or when a child throws a temper tantrum in a store, and their parent buys them a toy to get them to stop screaming, they learn that temper tantrums are effective.

Make sure that your child's misbehavior isn't serving them well. While giving in or backing down may make your life easier in the moment, you'll ultimately be training your child to break the rules. Sometimes children have underlying mental health issues that contribute to behavior problems. Kids with ADHD , for example, struggle to follow directions and behave impulsively. Underlying anxiety or depression can also contribute to behavior problems. An anxious child may avoid going to classes that make them feel nervous.

A depressed child may be irritable and lack the motivation to complete their chores or schoolwork. An evaluation by a trained mental health professional may be necessary to determine if there are any underlying emotional issues contributing to behavior problems. Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. American Academy of Pediatrics.

Updated October 15, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Role models and children. Updated March Updated November 5, The month visit: Building emotional health. Weitzman C, Wegner L. Promoting optimal development: Screening for behavioral and emotional problems. Normal child behavior. Updated October 16, Her resistance is significant for two reasons. First, this spirited child is telling the parent that she believes she is important.

By her actions she says, Daddy, I am somebody; I have ideas and values of my own. This is what I want. Second, the child's statement implies that she feels secure in her relationship with her father. She is not afraid to speak up. Sometimes the quiet, submissive child who never breaks the rules is more of a concern than the outgoing, spirited child. Passivity can be an inborn, temperamental trait, but some passive children may have lost the desire to stand up for themselves or may be too frightened of adult authority to do so.

Unfortunately, some parents incorrectly believe that children who are submissive and obedient are good and those who are defiant and demanding are bad. Parents can set firm limits while admiring their children's growing sense of self-confidence. When their children resist those limits parents should reconsider their expectations. They may decide to stand firm.

On the other hand, they may realize that a limit is no longer needed and should be changed or eliminated. They are protecting themselves Children sometimes misbehave to protect themselves.

Unless they are too frightened to act, children will defend themselves when they feel threatened. A preschooler hits a playmate who grabs his truck. An 8-year-old scuffles with a classmate who calls her stupid. A teenager takes a swing at someone who tries to steal his expensive leather jacket. Guidance tools can be effective in teaching children the skills they need to solve problems and keep themselves safe. They feel bad about themselves Children sometimes misbehave because they feel bad about themselves.

Children act consistently with what they think is true about themselves. They make self-fulfilling prophesies.

So if they think they are stupid, they may not try to do well at school. If they believe they are unpopular and cruel, they may mistreat their peers. Children will act bad if they think they are bad.